11:27 a.m. - 1st February 04
SCREAMING TREES...bible....steamers
Happy B'day me...CAN'T describe how I feel...scared, excited, happy...old...young???? Who knows?
Picked up Flossie and A, went to buy some new clothes....size 10 (British) black jeans...pink cardi...everything I wear always has to consider pink. Pink bra and thong. Why in a logical mind, do I feel so fat??? Average British woman is size 16...I'm not anorexic, just not in control of other parts of my life at his time. I have a bit of a belly...even despite the gym...hysterectomy at such a young age...damn cancer eh?
The day flew by....bath, hair wash, walking down the rd to S&H. Loads of people there...petrified of walking into a pub on my own to meet his friends. J&P, M, S, K & A and boy himself. They bought me pressies too, so sweet, so thoughtful, I felt so special...thank you boy. A steamer...cause of Chrimbo and J. A BLACK covered King James Bible...that's a joke from before Chrimbo...where are the 10 Commandments and what are they ALL??? A CD...Screaming Trees. Thank you so much boy for so much thought and kindness, you know the last 12 months have been horrid. Verbal and physical as well as sexual abuse from the devil. Me such a private person and my dirty laundry bought into work....thank you so much.
Out for dinner just J,P, boy and boy paid..how sweet, back to S&H No chance for us to talk, I got spannered, I went back to J&P as J wanted to talk about W. Got home 4.08 and txt boy....oooooops!!!!
