10:05 a.m. - 25th July 04
The argument
Well what a day yesterday was....mommy S phoned me to go round...wasn't even dressed at 2.30...not lazy, just never been a slob before!!!!!
Popped round there saw J and the kids too...mommy S needed plates for the party..and paper cups, so popped to the shop as I had done no shopping either.
Popped stuff back and came home to wait for A, told mommy S I'd be back 9.30-10.00...A due around 8.
A arrived 9.10, definate awkwardness, asked me why I was cross...told her...just totally unaccepting of MY reasons even though they are MY reasons and surely I'm aloud to be cross about them.
In the middle of it J phoned to say the devil arriving at their party, so that's scuppered that bugger.
A spoke about the boy too, after I said it was difficult for me when they don't get on.
Apparantly they have always argued, but get on really, really well socially and at work when I'm not around...this came up when I said it was awkward at the moment and confusing...she said it's my fault, she said, "me and boy are fine when you aren't there". It's horrid when I'm there, I spoke of how difficult that can be socially, she suggested not socialising in her company with boy, she could but not with me...she knows that isn't possible...so why say it??
Spoke about how when my two best friends fall out...she went onto say, he aint a friend, he does nowt for me. Tried to say, I feel he's a friend...but she wouldn't have it...apparently..she's my friend....and I haven't female friends, cause I'm mad. Went onto say that the argument last week with him affected me badly....made J's do awkward for me, that is my problem. She was OK with him now, she could socialise with others with him, just not me.
So mommy S,northern S, Flossies mom aint friends...only A my friend.
Feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO down today, I get so much wrong, I really don't have many friends, I have a lot of people contact me, but only when life is shit for them...bizarre and fucked up.
Feel quite sad today, hurting like mad, very very hurtful things said to me. Difficult to see how life is for me
