7:38 p.m. - 26th-31st July 04
Pigeons and Lough Derg
Bin in this town and at my job for 15 years this week, was gonna leave last year when the devil did what the devil did...BUT thought I'd have at least 6 months apart from him, to see if it was just us breaking up and so it would not be an emotive decision. 31st July, 15 years ago...I started my job...a year later cancer...hysterectomy...too young really...a year later bought a house, a year later living alone and apart from FC....my choice, we had grown apart. Still see him and like him lots, he married A, who I think is lovely too.
A year alone, dating the devil occasionally, then last year and now what???
I need to move on, but why??? The last year has taken its toll ...got tooooooooooo close to boy...it hurts sooooo much, it can't change, so I have to go.
He saved me on 29th from the pigeon egg in my office....I'm terrified of birds, he came in before and after London 30th ... but now no social contact what so ever...I miss him and the fun.
We spoke about Lough Derg this week thanks NI S...she was telling us all about it, I got the info...it's bin talked to bits!!!
NI S and I went to the park with her kids...she doesn't wanna return to NI, but hubby insistent...she aint sure marriage is right for her...I can't advise except to say LIFE IS TOOOOOOO SHORT, mine is getting very short.
15 years eh? One place one job, one hysterectomy 'cause of cancer all very odd. Do I stay or do I go.
I'm gonna go me thinks, have an informal visit next week to look at another job, start somewhere else, don't get attached to anyone
Dreading work on Monday...had a great fun week with boy and last night was at mommy S's we got drunk...she text boy +++++ saying shag me...he's not even accepted my apology...sorry boy I do love you, but can't stand this anymore.....I am leaving, between you the devil and dying I need to go....no more close attachments, it hurts toooooo much
