3:59 p.m. - 17th April 2006
Foul mood-DO NOT READ
A continuation of the rarara, shitty mood, get a grip gal kind of entry.
Sis-in-law had asked me to have nephew for a number of weekends over the ensuing months as she has decided to undertake some form of training course and was having a nip at my bruv who works weekends.
Anyway. In the week I phoned to confirm that she wanted me to have him 29th -30th April.
As they were going on hols today, I would be away when they got back until the Thursday and then before you know it, 29th would be here. Yes she said, nobody else to have him. Certain I said, Yes she replied. OK I said, as long as I know, I can get organised in advance, it'd be a pleasure etc
Yesterday, not a call all day to say happy Easter, thanks for the choccie eggs, how are you? etc. So dear me feeling dead sorry for myself.
Woke up in a better fit today, been to work....omnipotent one apparently has jacked in smoking in the name of love. Lots of paper work completed....YAY and HOOORAH!
Meeting with a group of staff to clarify some concerns, appeared to go well......feeling good as out with A for dinner later...YAY!
E-mail from sis-in-law. Eldest daughter havng nephew weekend 29th and 30th so no need but be available in May, as eldest daughter on holiday. Action urge to say "fuck right off"...."hope it snows on your holiday and you get sea sick on the crossing, gis a ring when you don't want something"!....If, I could phone and speak to them right now, I would. Does the whole fucking world think I'm a crazy mother fucking whore or something? Or just my family?
Angry? Moi? No of course not, just really confused and hurt. It feels like I have "twat" tattoed right accross the front of my brow in flashing neon signs.
I want, so badly to cry and rage and rant and just say what I think. Problem, they aint here to say it to. If I write it, it will come out wrong, by the time they are back it won't have the impact.....I am going to die of stress related ill health.
Bollocks!
Tomorrow, I'll have another practise at the better mood syndrome I used to own!
