10:28 a.m. - 26th August 2006
Argh...work is a complete crock of madness
Been a bit lazy about this of late....been a bit lazy in lots of areas of life, except of course work. Been on a bit of post holiday blues I think, combined with the fact that this has been a horrid couple of work weeks and that the weather has been chronically grey!!!
Work, it's hard to explain however I feel enntirely paranoid at the moment. One person who is in a senior postion appears to be nipping at my ankles on a daily basis, for no particular reason that I am aware of. The big enquiry concludes next Thursday (after nearly a year of on and off enquiries) and all of a sudden, after a visit from the top, top, top boss....who heard some things he didn't like, she wanted to take action. For a year she has said no action. But she seems angry and irritable, as if she hadn't been aware of it till now. (She was involved/informed and activley stopped certain other processes happening...which should have happened...however proving that is impossible) She phoned my boss who is on holiday and I ended up having to go to a "secret" four hour meeting ahead of the outcome of the enquiry, which my boss tried to stop, but this woman was having none of it. She wouldn't let me take notes and was nasty and crotchety throughout...everyday since I have been back, she has nipped at me for something or other.....I feel quite frightened at the moment for me and the service I work in.
So many people have been got rid of over the last four years for no obvious reason, I feel so uncomfortable.
Last weekend was a real downer of a weekend. IS phoned on Friday and said she wanted to go on a giant yomp on Sunday as she had bought a new pony (despite her always pleading poverty) and don't arrange anything else...so I agreed....didn't hear a thing off her, which hurt like fuck....she text on Monday and said Oh my friends turned up...that put me in my place then eh???
She has text this morning as she is back from hols tomorrow and needs to work on Monday, however not many other people will be around as it's bank holiday and she has a phobia almost of being alone and can't work the alarm in the building, so wants me to be there for that I assume....talk about being a worthless person!!!...Me, the alarm worker of a building YAY
I could have done a couple of other things last Sunday, but didn't want to let her down....so said no, it was too late to do those other things once I realised she wasn't going to contact me....Grrrrr!!!
I did read a couple of novels last weekend though, Frank Skinner and Julian Clary's autobiographies....they kept me smiling. Totally different styles, but both ammusing in there own way...and very sad too.
I am a big Amazon user for books and music, however there is a real price war on with the supermarkets at the moment, with regards books and music, so I have bought 8 novels and 6 CD's this week as they are even cheaper than Amazon....I hope they keep it up. They are starting a petrol war too....however they could do better....it's still over 90p/litre, which is madness!!!
P is back at work, which has been fun the last two days, she makes me smile with her nuttiness. I don't think she will work here this time next year sadly, she thinks it's a horrid place, far too political in it's approach, with no tust or openess.
I feel a bit stuck at the moment, I have lived here in this town for 17 years.....however I don't want to be gotten rid of. I work really really hard, am open and honest and to be honest am so loyal. Like a puppy dog almost..a spaniel type of loyalty!! I have done nothing at all wrong, nothing, however this place is so at times politically corrupt, they have got rid of about forty senior people, for there face suddenly not fitting. Not for a real reason.
Maybe when my boss is back Wednesday the pressure will be off me....who knows?
Haven't done much exciting stuff at all this week. Work home, work, home.
I suppose there is some news...omnipotent one is my friend again all of a sudden, really seems like my friend, he's smoking again too....looks like he is back on the pop as well....I am pleased as punch...however, completely confused on the other hand, as no doubt when E comes back it'll change and I'm scared I will get shunned and treated like a lala again.
Perhaps I need to....errrrrm get a flipping grip eh?? This seems so goddam negative and the worst bit is I am not a negative person. ...I am however responsible for my response to situations and need to hold my head up high and smile stacks!
