8:12 a.m. - 23rd September 2006
Flossie's return
Foggy morning...grey and damp. I have a hangover.....which I regret bitterly. Not a headache hangover, but that horrid lethargic edgy feeling. I have been up since 5.40 am, my own doing and my own fault sadly. The saddest part is that I have had a wholly healthy few weeks and I went and spoilt it last night, I didn't drink extraordainary amounts, I just had equivelant to 1/2 bottle of Shiraz, however it was on a day that my mood decided it (irritable) and instead of doing what I know helps....go to the gym, have a nice meal and chill. I went for the stupid option.
It's been a dead tough week and gradually I have felt ground down by people I suppose. My Myers Briggs has me as an introvert and maybe I have just seen too many people this week and need some time to reflect on life. Time to chill, reflect and recharge ready for next weeks onslaught. I have also seen the qualities in people that the boss sees, by meeting them on a one to one basis you see people differently than you do in meetings....The woman who drives me mad in meetings with her...I, me, I me, I me, is actually quite insecure and a tad patronising, with a real dose of neediness. IS who drives the boss loopy at times, has driven me loopy too. No problem solving ability at all or what so ever, brings problems, not solutions and what really hacked me off no end is the "here's the problem...your the boss, solve it"....ARGHHHHHHHHH! She knows she really annoyed me yesterday, as she swanned off at 3.20 after phoning me with a problem that she has contributed massively to creating and there I was, still there at goddam 8pm, trying to sort it all out...GRRRRRR.I could tell by the passive text I recieved (and couldn't bring myself to replying to, for if I had it would have been emotionally driven and unfair)...I'm really sorry,but I didn't know what to do. ARGHHH...Maybe fecking not have created the chaos? Maybe stay and sort it out?
However that's that I suppose, but flipping heck, people in different lights are absolutely amazing!
Spoke to bruv in the week, they are off to Ireland for Chrimbo/NY, looks like I'm "home alone" this year, still "I will survive". I am lucky in that I have a house, great internet connection, TV and loads of music.
P has been as busy as me this week, poor cow, she like me, said she feels like she is spinning out of control! Next week is horridly busy too.
Mommy S is the sanity in my life, she is such a grounding person in my life...she's on good form and has started work part time. She seems really chuffed to have finally secured a job at the school where the youngest of her three go. Schhol hols off and school hours. I'm chuffed for her too.
Well, I suppose the biggest news is that Flossie who has been phoning, texting regularly over the last 2-3 months, has finally backed me into a corner....in a nice way.
The devil (her dad), gave her an ultimatum a couple of years ago, him or me....so obvioulsy it was her dad....she always was a complete daddy's gal. However she has been writing, phoning, and texting wanting to meet up. I spoke to her last Saturday evening and agreed I would meet up with her this weekend, so tomorrow I'm picking her up in the morning, we will go shopping to the outlet in the countryside, then maybe the pictures and lunch/dinner out. I have missed her happy little self, however have major, major, major anxieties about going back, as I really am not keen to hear about her dad, but how would one excpect a teenager not to mention an important part of her life?
From the conversations we have had, school seems to be going well stll, I was always quite obsessed about her doing well at school....encouragin her to read all the time and always take pride in her homework. She is doing three sciences and appears to be achieving in these, which I hope will bode well for the future.
So, what's to do? The usual weekend routine needs to begin...sort my house out, which is generally more untidy than I can stand this week...I have been so late and knackered this week, that I haven't got a great deal done housework wise. I am usually quite an obsessional bird, so I need to go and feed the goddam obsession!!
