6:12 p.m. - 27th March 2007
A little tiny pang for what used to be
Well, well well. Home early, feeling mellow and relaxed and it's all light. I LOVE the clocks changing and the fact that we have had the pleasure of some warm afternoons (once the morning mist cleared) it's made life feel ALL good!!
I have stuff to do at home from a work point of view, hoever it's not a chore when you feel mellow and chilled!
The world seems something of a nicer place when it's light in the evening.
Work is busy but I think lots of people are on the wind down for the Easter holidays with their kiddywinks, so it's a great opportunity to play catch up with bits and bobs. I anticipate it'll all go a bit crazy when they come back....but hey, there will be two weeks of peace whilst they are away!!!
I feel at times that I have nowt to tell this little diary of mine, as compared to some people my life seems a little humdrm I suppose.
I miss aspects of my old crazy as hell life....the socialising 6 or 7 nights a week, particularly as omnipotent one is around as much at the moment.
Yesterday, I left eary to go to work and saw him walking....as J concurs it's mad as hell.....on the side of the street I drive, at the time I go to work roughly....he shouldn't be on my side of the street, he comes from the other side and has to cross and then cross back given he is walking.
He was around most of the day yesterday and today waited for me to finish.....beyond 5pm....alll madness in my world.
So yes, I miss the socialising no end....but suppose I remember the "rose tinted spectacles" verson.....and forget the angst, heartache and uncertainty that I experienced....also the fact that I was tearing myself to pieces.
I was trying to do my personal development plan last night and was reading my Myers-Briggs......ISTJ....yes I know the emotions of a fridge!! There are aspects of my personality that are awful if you read that.....particularly the internal world part....unwillingness to engage/involve emotions.
When I was seeing my little counselling man, he validated my wish/need/desire to have one or two very close friends and minimise my involvement with others, however I am having the very occasional pang of wanted to spend an evening particularly a Saturday evening just getting merry in the CB.
Maybe it's the time of year, however I really fancy an eveing of the madness that is the CB....or maybe I have a little yearning for the omnipotent one...which is DANGEROUS and I will not give into.
Tonight he asked what I was up to....I laughed and said I was out with P and L which was a down right lie.....that's tomorrow...but this was how the madness started previously....I never ask his personal stuff ever.
