9:15 a.m. - 31st October 03
-Friends...who knows??
I also wrote to you about why we are such intense friends and always have been...not our words, everyone elses, MY friends and YOURS...Ads, Mick, Matt but in particular Mick Your VERY best friend) and on my side Ann (who has witnessed so much socially and professionally), Sarah and Marie.
The reason dear child is that we understand each other, 'cause we are two halves. Both of us presenting as mature, sophisticated, independent people to the world, but deep inside both of us craving affection....from each other.(That's too scary for both of us to even begin to face isn't it???)
You are still on leave this week ...I did briefly see you pop in on Tuesday and gave you the missive that I had written, the only bit you said you understood was the parent child (by text) and then failed to answer any further, so I deleted your number, as I know you hate being harrassed and I feel the need to harrass.
You are on leave ... not away but around, everybody and his wife has seen you coming in to use the gym everyday, but you have avoided me like the plague itself...Which given this particular week I have found hard. You see what is hard for me is, I don't have a clue what you are thinking, which is so frightening, do we pick up where we left off, do we avoid each other for ever and a day or is this the natural end to our friendship???
So many things have gone on, M being murdered, the grief around that, the marriage of yours that broke up sixteen weeks later, by your own fair hand...always there for you, never failed you.
You too have been there for me in a very different way
