8:13 a.m. - 9th November 03
Hi Flossie...thanks for being you sweetie.
Well, what happened yesterday? Spoke with A in the morning, popped into work and had lunch with her, she was working all day...then got caught by N, who was positively seething about life, but in particular about you boy. I spent over two hours trying to calm him down to no avail. He is very, very off it and quite paranoid at the moment....interpreting and misinterpreting everything.
Picked up Flossie, as the devil hasn't been seen since Friday, when he started pushing me around. A, heard what was going on as we were on the phone. I fled the house and popped to see M for a while, had a cuppa with her and then came back...A popped up and we spent the evening gossiping.
It was smashing to have Flossie for the night, all chitter chatter about school, friends THE new house, she's as excited as me. I never moan about the devil, I always tell her he finds it hard living with me at the moment, but in the future he will put her first and that no matter what he always loves her loads and loads....she knows that really.
Today isn't gonna be too exciting, have all my ironing to do...couldn't get round to it last night at all. Flossie and I are gonna pop and see A, before she goes to work and then I'll pop her home to her moms. This afternoon I will probably get very restless, although I will get my plucking and waxing done, I always find Sunday afternoons tough going, especially when everyone is at work as they are today.
Still I do have my books to read and I have a day at work and a trip to London to look forward to tomorrow.
Can't wait to see Leicester Square, it makes me feel so good to be alive, it's so busy and bright, I love cities far more than towns, all those people rushing around like headless chickens, it always feels alive..no matter what time of day or night.
Then Tuesday we have the conference, that looks good too....things to look forward to are always good.
GP says I don't need pills, but I feel so damn depressed, I hope this mood lifts, so sick of being up and awake at the crack of dawn. I'm gonna go the gym this week, see if that will help with the old endorphins, only prob with the gym membership is I have to be there at 6am everyday to get my monies worth, which is great in summer, but God do I hate the winter? Still, once I'm back from London, I'll go and rejoin and start and make much more of an effort again.
