12:13 p.m. - 16th November 03
First night out for 29 days
What's been going on? Who knows it's so bloody confusing. Friday we interviewed all day the talks and games were amazing.
We spoke a lot all day, during the late afternoon we were talking and you bought up about C, I remember C from when you first started at my place of work. But this was so deep. You spoke about how you used to do loads of art work and I can believe that, as your sketching is so good. You also used to write. At the time C, was in a relationship which finished and you two got together, you were besotted, then she got back with her bloke...you were devastated and went back home and totally destroyed your art work, you have never drawn properly since then. You looked so very very hurt and I just wanted to hug you. We stayed talking till quite late.
Earlier in the day, we had a row about you asking Ads out for a drink with me sitting there but neither of you thought about me, we were laughing. I phoned A and we said we would come out too.
Mi, was pissed when we got there, you all sat at the bar, we got our cushy seats. Ma came over to speak to us, he was dead dead funny..then Ads came over and eventually you arrived too. Then there was a fight in the pub, our safe happy pub, where there is no trouble....everyone apart from us (G, T, you, me, A, Ads) got kicked out. A, took the injured party to the hospital and then came back and gave us a lift to the club.
The club was strange that night. NT and JJ were there MB, was after NT, NT was after DJ but had arrived with MC...which was supposed to be a secret!! We were tense as G was hanging round, I got very tipsy exceedingly quickly, which was very sad, then MB tried to fight and everything got tense. A took MB to her house but you went with T to help get him in the car. As soon as you had gone, G came over trying to cuddle me, it was so scary, I cannot stand G...he was saying strange drunken things to me. You came back and got him away, and we had big tight squeezy safe hugs. You popped to the loo and G came back, leary, letchy bloke, by this time A had arrived back she said that you then pulled G off and told him to fuck off...thank you for looking after me sweetie.
In the car, I remember nowt at all, it's awful we held hands..even your bad hand! A says the conversation was lovely, but I missed it again...you said I was your best friend in the whole world and that you would never agin, try to destroy our friendship...A then started on about us two getting married..you got cross and said that would spoil everything. Apparently I then said "he's loved up at the moment anyway" you said you weren't loved up but that it was good with J. A dropped you, and we had big squeezy safe cuddles and you were kissing my head. A shouted at me in the car as you tried to kiss my face but I turned away ...I don't remember or beleive her.I went to bed and felt awful the next day, I really don't remember drinking that much...'cause to start with they said they had no wine, but you made the bar staff go and find some didn't you..
Last night we were out again, this was even stranger night.
