4:24 p.m. - 22-23rd August 04
Can't stand me, so can't tolerate others...I'm going nuts
22nd...What sort of day was it?? Melancholic really....feel horrid about J&N. I was angry and tired but even so.
I was hurt they spoke about the devil..in sort of glowing terms, how much they thought he was a laugh. I sort of got cross about EVERYTHING, the fact I'm aloof, not a conversationalist etc...I dunno, just feel critisised and judged about everything I do by everyone. My confidence and self esteem is SOOOOOOO low.
Went wiv mommy S and co to RC for the BF, no bloody B.
Spoke to NI gal, she's ALRIGHT ...not gonna work, gonna stay at home for a while and look after the kids...fair play to her.
Got a bizarre late night text from boys sr, sent my head barking mad, hope my relationship wiv boy OK after weekend... Why wouldn't it be???
23rd No sleep, shoulder killing me....worried about boy, health, work etc.
Boy in late...all meetings cancelled...head fucked, couldn't cope, came home early...unheard of...need sleep, cannot rest....need to cry can't cry....Ads told me he loves me, wish he didn't or that I loved him or something was different.
Will have to leave
