11:05 a.m. - 20th May 05
..it's improved again my life
Gosh....two months have passed already.
Lots of changes for me.....haven't seen A for about 6 weeks...she's working with the devil too closely and when she lets her mouth run away with her...she lets things slip abbout discusions they have had...I don't like her talking about me at all, it does my nut in.
Mommy S is wonderful, although this week I haven't seen as much of her as usual...she's a bit avoidant, but then L is leaving home for abroard on Saturday and that will be a tough time for her.
Seen loads of N&J....I spent B/H weekend there helping do their garden, it was loads of fun, then proceeded to spend the next two weekends there too...stopped over lots...got sorta homesick too...for my hometown...Haven't lived there for soooooo long.
A got promoted so cunt's sr aint speaking to me....neither is he...totally ignored me on Fr....before my hols...he can go take a hike...Had a great week off this week...got a lot done, feel better in myself...but health wise, things aren't too hot to trot...more tests...more lumps...it's spreading!
Changes afoot at work too...again.
NI S is lovely, she's kept in touch which is nice....she is such a happy little bunny...She encourages me re moving home, as that what she has done ...moved closer to the family...and maybe I will. I was thinking my nephew, has no grandparents, and he has three uncles...one in America, one in Ireland and one a piss head....and I'm his aunty and over the last month we have got close again ...he is great fun.
We must have got closer again....he held me hand on the way back from the meal out on Monday night...boys of 7 don't do that normally!!!
Well I'll see him again on Sunday...communion day .
So life has settled down, into passing time fairly productivley again...certainly calmer, drink hardly at all...that was a bad year of drinking...the first year in my neww house...now if I have a drink it'll be a Friday only... and even then I've gone two or three weeks without bothering which is better. I also don't have to drink to oblivion any more thank god...that was a really bad year and I'm glad I've broken the cycle...as I was miserable as a result of it too
The reading group is functioning too...we meet every month, last night it was back to my turn to host it, so that means it's been running for 5 months and we've done 5 books....well some of us have read five and others haven't...but it's still fun to meet.
As for cunt boy, I'm starting to dislike his behaviour towards me, which is hurtful...but that's apparently what would happen...I hate his need to hurt me, but on the whole just ignore it and tolerate it....I miss the closeness we once had, but I accept I can't have it anymore...I dislike the nastiness, but accept that is what has to be from his perspective...he can't just be my friend..which is irritating.
The good bits are seeing less of A, ..seeing more of mommy S and talking to NIS more often. Being back in touch with N&J is fantastic as hell
D, is good to me, I like her being my boss, she makes me laugh...I S is fun too, I see a bit more of her since I went away with her
So all round there has been an improvement...a strange old couple of years...from a long term relationship...to being happily single, with the shite in between, making this bit of my life feel soo good.
