7:31 p.m. - 29th January 2007
ARGH! Stress hurts
I know, I know, I know that I often complain about work stresses, which I hate doing. Mainly because I am generally an upbeat human being but also on the whole I'm happy with my career and being gainfully employed.
HOWEVER! Work is AWFUL at the moment. I feel like a nutcase...so much stress (which is really unhealthy for me) and pressure. Not even the gym is helping, which is scary...as normally the gym eases stress. Tonight I am in pain with my shoulders feeling all crippled up!!! Oh my God what a drama queen. I could quite cheerfully scream with anger and anguish.
These are the evenings that are tough being alone in the world. Not having a cat, dog or significant other to come home and kick (metaphorically speaking)! Not having a human to give you a hug and say "is it really that important"? which perhaps it isn't, but tonight it FEELS so flaming important it's not true.
Finding it almost impossible to unwind, despite the 25 lengths and all that. Normally that helps but tonight it just isn't! ARGH!
Work is a pressurised role, business is competitive and just today and hopefully today alone....I feel scared and alone......I haven't had an entire weekend in a month where work hasn't phoned at the weekend with some crisis or another. I've been told to forget 3rd March as a hols as we have inspection visits 5th-8th. I haven't had a proper hols since November.....and apaprt from the week I had planned skiiing in Bulgaria 3rd March, and maybe a quick trip to NY the week after St Patricks, nowt much to look forward to in the way of holidays....I'm exhausted and giving more than my all.
I love boss to bits in a purly platonic manner, however youngest boy of hers is playing up and she isn't doing near as many hours as me......and given she is on twice my salary.....it's hard, maybe just for tonight....maybe tomorrow...after LOADS of sleep I'll delete this entry and be back to being happy as a sand boy.....or girl!!!
