10:00 a.m. - 28th February 2009
Flossie is back in touch
How lazy have I become in respect of this little diary? I always enjoyed updating and getting "it" down on cyber paper, but of late haven't done so believing I have nothing to say, however looking back on old entries......I often had nowt to say but said it anyway!!!
Had a great birthday - went to Lincoln for the weekend and stayed in a fantastic little B and B which was sooooooooooo clean and had the best beds in the world. Lincoln town centre was like most city centres and in parts it looked quite rundown. However the cathedral and castle were stunning and there were some lovely little shops in that neck of the woods.
On the way back from Lincoln the snow started, it looked beautiful but was a complete pigs trotter to drive in! Then followed a horrid week of snow, snow and more snow. This town and my place of work were practically at a standstill! I yomped into work for the first few days as not a single car moved out of the street for a week and I was too scared to be the first to brave it!!
Had the family down for dinner just before my birthday and made a lovely meal (even they said that)! It was a little less tense than previous visits, it seems that sis in laws youngest daughter is now being gunned for as ....as.....errrm...I have no flaming idea! In sis in laws opinion there has been some sort of horrid thing happened....It's sort of something with the little 'un living her own life and not being at the beck and call of the family.
Work has been insane for weeks now...UNTIL this last week, when to be fair it's settled down into some sort of routine.....I haven't been up the motorway once this last week and don't have to go next or the one after either! YAY! That alone gives me ooooodles more time than I previously had...however I am a little worried it could become a little boring, but we'll see. Knowing my place of work, it'll change in some way and all go mad again!
Last Saturday went to Stratford to the theatre, wasn't looking forward to seeing "The Tempest" not really rocked by Shakespeare ...BUT LOVED IT! Could become a Shakespeare addict! It was soooooo good. Didn't necessarily understand each and every word that was said, but the overall gist was so clear to see and as for the Courtyard theatre, it's really sweet.
Last weekend finally gotten round to booking to go to New York for MA-ay, sadly BA flights were cheaper than Virgin (prefer Virgin more room in your seat space) ...BUT the person I am going with was not prepared to pay the extra �20 and wouldn't let me pay it either...SO BA it is!!
Thursday I was late in from work but on the doormat was a handwritten envelope. Vaguely recognised the writing, but couldn't quite place who had written. Let's be honest, these days it's mostly e-mail, text and 'phone....Not many letters. Shocked and stunned that it was from my exes daughter....Flossie! Haven't seen her for a couple (if not three) years (not my choice). Her dad saw us out together once and she was given an ultimatum, see him or see me-naturally it had to be her dad and although she cried and cried (which I found soooooo hard to deal with) I actively encouraged her to get on with the devils new missus. In one sense I was devastated as I had been a big part of her life, on the other hand it was quite liberating because it meant I didn't have to listen to .."my dad said"......"my dad's missus did that". Flossie always spun a negative spin on anything to do with her dad's new missus and I had to work hard not to join in! Or to ask anything inappropriate-Like is she really a psycho bitch really!!!?? I also didn't like her doing that as I was concerned it was for my benefit and she really didn't need to go down that track with me....
Anyway!!! Back to the letter...I was flabbergasted. It was a really newsy and articulate letter full of what she has been up to (including starting her A levels which WAS THE MOST EXCITING HEART SINGING THING FOR ME TO READ). When Flossie was in my life I really pushed her reading and writing and questioning......I really wanted her to excel within education as where she lives and etc education wouldn't be a primary focus, but she is a bright thing and could easily do Uni.....I was chuffed too that she is doing English Language and Literature and was talking of the things she has been reading/studying. YAY Go Flossie...She is also doing Biology and Art, but the other bit that caught my attention is she is really keen on biodiversity...and externally from school she is working voluntarily for the local water board on a project around biodiversity....Go her!
The other bits in the letter were a bit sadder - dad doesn't bother with her much and she has stopped visiting him at his house for the last 18 months as according to the letter dad's partner "falsely portrays herself to me and anybody else she meets." What that means...Who knows? But obviously Flossie still hasn't sorted out the relationship with her. Her dad is apparently "full of lies and false promises and is in fact an idiot"....errrmmmmm YES he is Flossie, but how have you spotted it at such a young age and it took me so long????!!!...It's that there education system me thinks!!
So there is a fair old rant about her dad and his missus, but it's quite a sad rant......A "I feel a bit rejected again" sort of rant. there are two more kids too, the names of the boy is ridiculous.......but if I write it here it would be identifiable ....suffice to say it is the name of a heavyweight American boxer who floated like a butterfly....FFS why in the 21st century would you give a child a name like that?? The child is described as a "whiny spoiled brat who is ugly and moany"...Hmmm I might be wrong but there is no love lost there.......Apparently there is a girl too.....Who is also quite "loud and rude" whatever any of that actually means.
So although I was chuffed, do I really want to get dragged back into all of that? I would imagine Flossie misses her dad and has never resolved her issues with his missus......her dad does (and always did) let her down as he always was unreliable in respect of her. But back then I suppose I was in the background to ensure she was always picked up on time, her birthday was remembered (apparently it was forgotten again last year)...That he went to parents evening on the right day, at the right time and to the right school!!! So the misses probably hasn't pushed him to do those things, as she is young, has her own kids and therefore differing priorities. But when your 16 you can't always see the other priorities, you are the priority. Flossie was never gonna give the new misses a chance as the last time Flossie stopped over with me bawling her eyes out, it was all to do with Flossie wanting to go back to live in the old house as it was......It was wrong that the new missus had some of my stuff in her house because in Flossie's world she shouldn't have stuff from the old house!! But her biggest criminal activity was putting hot milk on Flossie's cereal.....If the new missus cared, she'd know Flossie has cold milk!! ...No amount of my reasonable advise....Why not just tell her you prefer cold milk worked. Apparently I never force fed her such poisonous stuff......I tried to reason by saying I'd known her longer and since she was tiny....But NO! that was a crime too far!!!
So just as you think life is all sorted....Great bloke from MK.....Nice job (sometimes) Fabulous friends......A life apart from the ex and all of that madness.....a lovely little 16 year old appears and sort of rattles your cage.......I'd be happy to see her (but not her mom and all of that stuff)....But I don't want her dad to know anything about me and what I'm doing...Which I couldn't ask her to keep secret as it'd be wrong and too bigger ask. Flossie is keen to see my family and goes on about them lots....especially the nephew...But relationships there are dodgy with me and she doesn't need to know all that......So lets see what happens now.
I've written her newsy letter back and that may just be enough for her...It may be just "touching" her comfort blanket as I was in her world "the sensible one" (her description of me always....which made me feel like the most boring person in the world....like someone who wore American Tan pop socks and flat shoes type....WHICH I DON'T....I'm a stiletto gal). I haven't passed any comment on her dad or his Mrs or their relationship with Flossie, I've just gone on about her friends, her school stuff and then told her about the family and myself (without any detail of MK hunk etc)...So we'll see what happens now. It has unskittled me a bit as I would LURVE to see her again and have her stop over, but it's soooooo complicated underneath it all
Anyway enough of that..just like to mention how Spring like my garden looks....all those bulbs last summer are now sprouting through and It makes me so happy to see......Little narcissi......Crocus.....Snow Drops etc...alongside my Winter Pansies....Primroses and Christmas Rose....Nature ain't all bad at this time of year
